The kick you need..

Sometimes it's very hard to decide what to do with your life.

  

Maybe you think you have things sorted out, that you are happy with whatever you are doing and therefore don't need anything else. On the other hand, you might think that your life it's not really that fantastic, that there is something missing but you can't quite point your finger at it.

That's weird though, isn't it?

You have friends, you have your family, you might have a job, go out sometimes..to the movies, for a beer or a pizza or whatever yummy there is in your country. So how can someone be happy with that, but someone else feel miserable in the same situation?

Years ago I went to school. I did not want to study and looking back now, I really don't understand why. Maybe I thought I was too cool for school, too interested in stupid things. Because when you are young, let's face it, you don't really think about your future. Not that much at least.
I was ok with it at the time. I was living with my ex bf (I was 19) and going to school just because I had to. I thought that once I was done with school, I would have found a nice job and carried on with my life.

I was wrong.

I finished school with REALLY bad grades, broke up with my ex bf and couldn't find a damn job.
I ended up unemployed, back with my parents without money. In the beginning I was ok with it. I thought that that could have been a "vacation" after school. And then, economy started going down. I was stuck.
In 5 years, I have spent 2 of them unemployed and 3 of them doing absolutely terrible jobs. I felt so frustrated and didn't see a way out. I worked as secretary, barmaid, security guard...I did a lot boring jobs and the frustration grew inside me. In the meantime, ambitions were growing as well and I felt inside me I needed to do something to change the situation...but I didn't know what to do.

 

When I was 17, I started dealing with an eating disorder and carried on until one day in 2007. The day my life changed. The day my father changed my life.
He found out the hard way, seeing me dealing with that eating disorder. I now thank him for that, for invading my privacy and finding out. He sent me to the hospital and I have spent 1 month without having the chance to go out or talk to other people outside. It changed my life.
It has been a wake up call. I woke up completely and decided I was gonna do something with my life. I had to change my situation, my feelings, my way of life.

 

I filed my application for a local school. I always wanted to see the world and travel, therefore enrolled at the State School of Tourism and Hotel Management. I am so glad I did. It started changing my life from the beginning and without that school and the program they offered, I would have never, ever started changing my life.

The kick I needed, came as a wake up call. Firstly to save my life and secondly to really make me see what's beyond this boundaries and start to enjoy life!

Yet another obstacle..

I wasn't going to talk about the present just now, but unfortunately, I have to.

 

 

I do have a dream, a big, huge dream.

I am not going to tell you what it is right now, but I will share something that happened just this morning.

I recently have applied to my local University for a Master's degree. It is a relatively small university and it is international and in the same time very local. I would like to say that I am a Swiss citizen, living in the Italian region, where the University is located. 
To make things clear, I hold a Bachelor degree from an Australian University. The school I went to here in Switzerland, prior to University, has some agreements with this Uni. These agreements allowed me to complete my degree in one year because LaTrobe University recognized all the subjects I took before and therefore granted me advanced standing for 210 credits.

Just for the records

In the QS World Universities Ranking of 2012 (http://www.topuniversities.com/university-rankings/world-university-rankings/2012), my uni was ranked in the 375th place over 872.
According to the Times Higher Education in 2012 (http://www.timeshighereducation.co.uk/world-university-rankings/2011-12/world-ranking/region/oceania) LaTrobe was ranked in between 350th  and 400th in the world. In addition, according to the Academic Ranking of World Universities in 2012 my Uni (http://www.shanghairanking.com/ARWU2012.html) was ranked between 401st and 500th place.
This makes me think that my degree is valid, it is a REGULAR Bachelor.
If I look in these websites for the University where I have applied, I cannot find it.

Some more information about Ticino and Switzerland

We are having huge problem with general unemployment and especially with young people who cannot find a job anywhere in Switzerland. Our unemployment rate is very high, higher than last year, and the year before  and the year before that...
In the year 2011, the general unemployment rate was 4.6%. Amongst the young generation that number rises to touch an amazing 5.8%. (http://www3.ti.ch/DFE/DR/USTAT/index.php?fuseaction=prodotti.home&p1=35).
To compare the nation with our region, the USTAT (Federal bureau of statistics) states that the average unemployment rate in Switzerland for 2012 was 4.1%, whereas in Ticino was 6.9%.

I am giving you all these figures because I am part of those figures. I am unemployed. I have studied abroad, worked abroad and can't find a job. I am not saying I am more qualified than anyone else here, I am just saying that I should be more qualified than some people here...therefore I should be able to find a job. Any job. I am ready to do anything, but apparently the Ticinese's economy lacks in whatever job you are looking for.

The decision to start a Master's degree

After finishing my education in Australia, I did a 6 months internship in China. I came back to Switzerland 6 months ago, and have been unemployed ever since.
I grew tired of this situation and 1 week ago I have finally decided I wanted and needed more from my life and the society. I therefore went to my local university, which was holding an "Info Day" and got UBER EXCITED over a specific program they are offering.
I thought about it for a couple of days and then decided to file my application right away.
This morning, the faculty called me and I thought i was going to be good news...what could possibly go wrong?! I am a Swiss citizen, hold a Bachelor degree from a recognized Uni and have international working experience.

Apparently THAT is not enough.

The girl from the faculty explained to me that since the previous school, the one that has agreements with my University, is NOT recognized by them...it's like my Bachelor is not valid. They are basically telling me that all the advanced standing LaTrobe granted me, for them it means nothing. She told me I should start ANOTHER bachelor and only then do a master's.

I felt humiliated. I felt so bad I started crying as soon as I hung up the phone. I felt like I have wasted 4 years of my life, doing my best to excel and succeed. I felt like I have wasted 30 grand (which I did not have and had to ask for scholarships and loans in order to get them). I am not rich, I have never been rich and now less than ever.

What is going to happen?

I am confident things will change. I am waiting for an official answer from them tomorrow and in the meantime, I pray. I am not religious but in this case...I can make an exception.

If this does not go the way I hope, I will file my applications to other Swiss Universities, try to get my Bachelor recognized in Switzerland with the help of the CRUS, send letter over letters the the specific regional and federal offices because THIS, is a shame. You spend years and money on your education, you try to beat the monster of unemployment, you try to be a better person, willing to contribute to your local economy and this is what happens ?!

No. I disagree. The system has to change, and I am ready to battle to change it. If not for me, for other youngsters who will be faced with a similar problem. It's so humiliating I don't want anyone to feel the same I have felt.

It's sad...however....

 

What is a dream?

A dream

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a dream is:

1. A visionary creation of the imagination
2. A strongly desired goal or purpose 

I believe it is absolutely both. Think about you, what you want to do, what you want to pursue and what you want to be in, let's say, 10 years.

I know what I want to become, I know where I see myself in 10 years and I know it's going to take a lot of time to do so. I have clear in mind what I want to become, with whom I would like to spend my life and where I would like to spend it.
Don't think it's been an easy "decision". It's not even a decision, it comes naturally and it takes time.
I realized I had a dream when I started to study again, after years of doing absolutely nothing useful and fulfilling.

What gave me the initial kick has been a health problem.
I spent 1 month at the hospital and THAT helped my brain to "click" and switch to another mindset. The mindset I have now, the idea of a better future for myself and my kids, one day.

While in the hospital, I have envisioned  myself back at school. Studying and building a future for myself.
Thanks to that "short" stay, I have finally decided to go back to school and learn about something I was passionate about: Tourism and Travel.

THAT WAS THE BEST DECISION I HAVE EVER TAKEN.

It started the whole process. I am still building my dream, and I am working hard towards it. The final goal does not change, but the action steps have. It's normal. It's the natural to a goal. You would do anything possible to reach it, and if you see that what you are doing it's not working, you slightly adjust the aim. 

The important thing is to NEVER, EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS!